My little pony and the Mass

                                                    Will sound familiar to the post-Vatican II Catholic

The introduction at the local parish of the new English translation of the Novus Ordo proceeds.  Though I'd cherished hopes the new translation might usher in Simple English Propers, and usher out the bland old mush, it appears the bland old mush will remain solidly entrenched.   Before Mass, the large lady at the microphone continued our indoctrination into the new settings.  You may imagine my delight at discovering that the new settings are the work of the same liturgical composers who perpetrated the horrid old ones.  Naturally, the new ones are in their familiar horrid style.  They're just a bit longer, since the new translation tends to add  words.   This music rivals the My Little Pony theme not only in beauty but also sophistication. 

Such was the splendor of the Orthodox liturgy in Constantinople that upon viewing it the envoys of the prince of Kiev are supposed to have declared "we knew not whether we were in heaven or earth."   By contrast, upon hearing the settings for the new translation of the Novus Ordo, the people in the pews of the local parish responded so drowsily that the large lady at the microphone knew not whether we were awake or asleep.

Not unexpectedly, as the program of disguising the Mass as a festival of artificial cheeriness proceeds, evidence of confusion about the purpose of Mass mounts.  Attendance continues to fall, as the empty pews, even at this "family Mass," usually the best attended Mass, attested.  More tellingly, after the conclusion of the Eucharistic prayer, for several moments scarcely anyone spoke or moved.  Alas, this was not because we were lost in speechless adoration.   Instead, many of us had merely done what humans typically do when faced with saccharine mush.  We had become bored, and our minds had wandered; thus we needed a few seconds to notice the Eucharistic prayer was over.